Ugh

I discovered spotting this morning. On day 23. My first thought was, "Oh, shit. Not again." And then I rushed to the Internet to Google "implantation bleeding." I go through this process every month. Implantation bleeding, according to the trusty Mayo Clinic website, can happen 10-14 days after fertilization. It is usually pink or brown. It lasts one day, maybe two.

Thus, part of me is depressed, realizing I'm getting my period early. The delusional part of me wants to believe it is implantation bleeding, and a symptom of early pregnancy. I also feel nauseated (alas, a side effect of Prometrium) and I have a headache (probably due to allergies.) Unfortunately, I can't take my ibuprofen/Benedryl/caffeine cocktail that would knock the thing out, because I don't have solid proof yet that I'm not pregnant. Oh, how I long for a Benedryl, if only to allow myself to sleep all day so I wouldn't have to feel the sting of disappointment yet again.

On the upside, when my husband saw me crying this morning, he vowed to contact his sister's friend about adoption. And one of my best girlfriends informed me that her close friend recently adopted a baby boy. So, hopefully she'll connect me with her friend, and when Aunt Flo parks her Winnebago in my driveway, it won't be so hard.